Doing a Funeral

Performing a funeral isn't usually on my "favorite things to do list" not because they're hard to do, but it can be emotionally draining. Think about the circumstances and it's easy to understand why doing a funeral could be emotionally draining. The hard part of a death is that as a pastor, you have to pretty much drop everything for the sake of the family. Schedules have to be rearranged, ministry work has to be put on hold, and sadly your family has to get put aside for a bit. However at the end of the day, it's God's power and authority that gets me through the evening. Last night I had to do my second funeral service (the first being in late November 2009) and it went pretty well. Each funeral is different, so here's the rundown on this particular one.

On Sunday evening I got word that Lorraine Zenner (82 years old) passed away. Lorraine was a member of our church who I did not have the privilege of meeting. There are a handful of people who we called "home-bound" who have not been able to attend one of our Worship Gatherings. I knew of her, but never had the chance to visit her (though we did have Elders and Deaconesses visit her occasionally). After I got off the phone on Sunday night, there was a brief thought that I would do the service, but I wasn't sure considering none of her family members attended our church.

On Monday afternoon one of Lorraine's sons and the Funeral Director at Bond Funeral Home contacted me about doing the service. I never say no to a request like this because I feel that it's a great honor to be asked to do the service. Think about it: the family is choosing ME to be the person that honors, celebrates, and buries their loved one. After conversations with the funeral home and the family, everything was set for a Thursday service.

Tuesday and Wednesday were spent planning for the service. One of the first things I did was try to talk to as many people as possible about Lorraine. Since I didn't know her, it was important for me to get a feel for who she was and what kind of legacy she left behind. These days were also spent planning for the service, along with praying about my sermon for the evening. I wasn't getting anywhere with my sermon planning on Wednesday, but randomly in the afternoon God gave me a topic: "Leaving a Godly Legacy." Since I knew that I was drawing blanks, this was definitely God's leading.

Thursday afternoon was spent putting the final touches on the service and writing out the sermon. 6:00pm was the Wake (or Viewing). I introduced myself to the family and made myself available to anyone who needed to talk. For the next 90 minutes, I spent time talking to the people from church who came out and took time to collect my thoughts. The funeral home had a very nice and quiet room where I was able to relax on the couch, drink some water, and spend time looking over my sermon. 7:30pm was the start of the service, which lasted about 35 minutes. There was no burial because the ground is frozen at the cemetery, but there will be one in May. After the service there was a reception at Petta's Restaurant, which is an old, famous Italian restaurant in inner-city Schenectady. Food was good and everyone enjoyed themselves.

If I had to pick a lasting memory of the night, it was the opportunity to preach the Gospel to a room full of people, many who I believe do not have personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I always welcome to share about Jesus in situations where people do not know Him. What a great opportunity!

If you are curious about what a funeral service outline looks like, here's a copy of last night's service:

1. Prelude/Welcome

2. Scripture: 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

3. Invocation Prayer

4. Special Music: “In the Garden”

5. Obituary

6. Personal Remarks

7. Scripture: Psalm 27:1,4-8, 14

8. Special Music: "How Great Thou Art"

9. Prayer

10. Sermon: "Leaving a Godly Legacy"

11. Special Music: "Amazing Grace"

12. Closing Prayer

13. Postlude